Funny of the Week: Attention to Detail

Childbirth: Men vs Women

With the birth of our sixth child (Truett) and with many hours spent on the vinyl-covered concrete seat/bed/couch in the hospital cubical (I mean room), I had ample time to ponder the rather large contrast between men and women when it comes to childbirth. Here are just a few I find to be true.

When the baby first breaches the canal during labor:

The woman thinks, ‘Pull it out! I can’t push any longer.’

The man thinks, ‘Thank you, my Sweet Jesus for making me a man!’

When the nurse places the child on the mother’s stomach:

The woman thinks, ‘Does he have all his toes and fingers?’ Immediately, the mother starts unwrapping the baby and checking.

The man thinks, ‘What is he going to be when he grows up? What type of man will he become? Who will he marry? I hope he marries someone with money.’

When the mother changes the first diaper:

The woman thinks, ‘Look at how cute and tiny that diaper is.’

The man thinks, ‘I hope the size of the diaper is not relational to the cost of the diaper.’

When the mother first nurses:

The woman thinks, ‘It is amazing how God designed me to provide for this child.’

The man thinks, ‘This is just weird.’

When the baby cries at 2am on the first night:

The woman thinks, ‘I should check on the baby.’

The man thinks, ‘I wish she would check on the baby.’

When the hospital photographers are listing the options of each picture package:

The woman thinks, ‘These pictures are priceless.’

The man thinks, ‘These pictures are pricey. I have a camera on my phone.’

When the birth certificate needs to be filled out:

The woman thinks, ‘We have to decide on his middle name.’

The man thinks, ‘Middle names are so overrated.’

When it’s time to leave the hospital:

The woman thinks, ‘What is the baby going to wear home?’

The man thinks, ‘How do these car-seat straps buckle? I wish I had brought the duct-tape!’

When the new family finally arrives home:

The woman thinks, ‘I can't wait to get into my own bed.’

And the man thinks, ‘I wonder what she is going to cook for dinner. I’m starving.’

November Giveaway for Dad!!

Need a great Christmas gift for Dad?  We've got you covered!  Anyone to post a comment on this posting will be entered into our drawing on November 15th for a hardback version of The Apologetics Study Bible (a $40 value)!

The Apologetics Study Bible helps today's Christians better understand, defend and proclaim their beliefs in this age of increasing moral and spiritual relativism. More than one-hundred key questions and articles placed throughout the volume about faith and science prompt a rewarding study experience at every reading. Highlights of this new thinking person’s edition of God’s Word include the full text of the popular Holman CSB® translation, an introduction to each Bible book focusing on its inherent elements of apologetics, and profiles of historic Christian apologists from Justin Martyr to C.S. Lewis. Also featured are valuable contributions from a who’s-who of modern apologists such as Chuck Colson, Norm Geisler, Hank Hanegraaff, Josh McDowell, Albert Mohler, Ravi Zacharias, and many more.

You don't want to miss out on this giveaway!! Post a comment below!  The winner will be announced on November 15th! This Bible will ship just in time for Christmas!

Funny of the Week: The Dad Life Video

a NeW FaMiLy FuN GaMe!

Hey Dad, here is a new family game that is sure to make the entire gang laugh, think, and grow together! It’s called the 5 Cents Game and here’s how it works:

Place one empty cup or bowl in the middle of the group. Then give each player 5 pennies.

One person (the Moderator) will need a blank sheet of paper and a pen to record the answers. Note: The Moderator can participate in the game as well.

Here are the questions the Moderator will ask the group:

1. What is your favorite thing to smell? Anyone that wants to share their answer will have to put one of their cents into the cup or bowl. They will then share with the group their answer. The moderator will not move to the next question until everyone has placed a penny in the cup and gives an answer to this question. After everyone has had their turn answering the above question, the moderator will then ask the next question.
2. What is your favorite thing to taste? The group will then repeat the same steps as above.
3. What is your favorite thing to hear? Repeat the same process as above.
4. What is your favorite thing to touch? Repeat the same process as above.
5. What is your favorite thing to see? By the time the Moderator asks this last question every player should have one penny left in his possession.  

After all questions have been answered, the moderator can start the game over by redistributing the pennies and asking a new set of questions: What is your worst thing to smell, taste, hear, touch, and see?

We played this as a family and we had a blast! We have a three year-old that used the word “snake” as his answer on every single question, which made for many laughs. It was interesting to learn of my wife's favorite things to smell, hear, and touch. It was also a great educational tool for our children in relating how they use their own five senses; they really had to think of practical ways in how they use and experience these senses. I also took the opportunity at the end of this game to speak to our children about God granting humans the ability to experience His creation in so many different ways. It was a great time of sharing and relating God's purposes for our senses.

This game is easy to play, costs just pennies, and makes for a great time of family fun! Try it out tonight with your family!

Funny of the Week: Man Babies!

Hey Dad, have you ever wondered what it would look like to swap heads with your child? Me neither! But in case you do feel the hunger for such a Photoshop experience, you can check out tons of hysterical pics over at ManBabies.com

The Art of Spiritual Drafting

Today a co-worker and I went for a quick jog during our lunch break. Since he is a faster runner, within the first quarter mile I fell in behind him and tried my best to keep stride for stride. With it being a windy day, I instantly felt the lack of wind resistance when I aligned myself directly behind my friend’s body. In that moment of non-resistance I felt like an Olympic sprinter! We were hurdling potholes, dodging small dogs, and passing light poles as if they were pages being thumbed through in a book. It was great!

However, after mile marker 2 my running partner kicked his pace into a higher gear; a gear I evidently do not possess.  As I tried my best to keep up, the wind slowly began to push on my chest resulting in my friend running on in victory and me eventually walking while faking a leg cramp for the passersby.

While comical, this is a great lesson for dads. Each dad has been blessed with a family that is designed by God to run behind his spiritual pace. Dad, you are the spiritual pacesetter of your home! Your child may need to run behind you because she is not spiritually mature enough to run beside you. This spiritual pacesetting is not the church’s primary job but yours as a dad. By following behind you, your family can avoid the winds of doubt, loneliness, and spiritual ignorance that would otherwise slow them down.

This pace requires a dad to stay spiritually conditioned and one step ahead of his family. The more spiritually grounded and mature Dad is, the easier it is for his family to draft behind. Spiritual drafting allows the family to share in the thrills of loving and serving God at a healthy pace.

So Dad, lace up those spiritual shoes! And run the best race of your Christian life so powerfully that any family could easily draft behind.